One thing that keeps me in the same place is fear of making a bad decision. When I look back at my life, I cringe at the amount of ‘no decisions’, simply because I was afraid of making a bad decision.
Why are we afraid to make bad decisions?
Since kids we are taught to look at the outcome of any decision as right or wrong ( or good or bad). Making right decisions is also associated with being a success and making wrong decisions is associated with being a failure. As we grow older this programmed behaviour shows up as ‘fear’. Fear of making the wrong decision. We live in a culture where making a mistake is frowned upon. We are afraid that we could end up with the ‘loser’ tag, if we make few bad decisions.
There is even a name for it!
Decidophobia. Decidophobia is the fear of making decisions. More precisely fear of making wrong decisions. We are anxious, scared and petrified of making the wrong decision. Fear of making bad decisions often leads to being in a place where we make ‘no decisions’.
Why making no decision is worst than making a bad decision?
Staying in the middle and not committing to any decision is the surest way to stop growing. If fact the real bad decision you can make is making ‘no decision that leads to no action’.
Why you should NOT worry about making bad decisions
- What is a bad decision anyway? When we make a decision on something and the outcome is not what we expect, it is considered a bad decision. We choose to believe that when we make a bad decision we have wasted time, energy, effort and money. We also invest a lot of emotion in making a drama out of bad decision. This in turn immobilizes us in making future decisions.
- Bad decision is an outcome you did not expect or want – nothing more or nothing less. It is not the end of your world. “Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.” ~Pema Chodron
- There is always something you can learn from a bad decision, if you are open to it. In fact every decision you make presents a learning opportunity.
- If you approach decision making as a step forward in to the unknown and prepared to accept the outcome for what it is, and use the new outcome as a stepping stone for the next stage, then you will always be moving forward in life.
The only bad decision you can make is indecisions!
Step in to the unknown. Trust that what ever the outcome, there are opportunities for growth. Yes, every now and then you will stumble. Get back up and and make the next decision. Act. Move on! Indecision is a choice. With indecision you are choosing to stay where you are. Where you are seems comfortable and okay. There is less pain or you are now used that pain. Making a decision means you now have to expand your comfort zone and that is not a comfortable feeling.
Here are some pointers you may want to consider to overcome ‘decidophobia’
- Improve your attitude towards making any decision: Don’t look at decision making as a linear process with only good or bad outcomes. Start looking at every decision as a stepping stone to learn and grow.
- Recognize when your comfort zone is under threat: Making a new bold decision, will take us to areas where we have never been before. This will challenge our comfort zone. Be okay with it. There is a first time for everything and once we get over the initial fear, a new opportunity to expand our comfort zone will be presented to us.
- The point of giving up is an opportunity: At the point of giving up, one more step forward, could bring us closer to our goal or dream. This could be the opportunity to make that decision that can change our lives for the better.
- Place your emphasis on the journey and not the destination: A goal once reached becomes less relevant over time. But the journey to get to that goal is full of rich experiences and learning. Usually the journey is more valuable than the goal it self.
- Recognize we cannot see the whole picture: We don’t know how tomorrow is going to turn out let alone the rest of our lives. Wanting to be in total control of everything is an absurd notion. What we consider a bad decision could be a short cut to our success but we may not be able to see it now. Accepting where we are right now and taking the next step in to the unknown and trust that at the end everything will be alright is the way to go.
Want to know how to make good decisions most of the time?
Once you make a decision, come hell or high water work your gluteus maximus off to make your decision produce the right results for you!
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